I’ve got questions upon questions and my mind is racing with this fixation on the glorious mysteries that await upon death. I’m curious and baffled that life could be so extravagant yet so harmful all at once. Churches preach hell and call forward a drive for heaven but can’t manage to treat each other correctly so what’s the difference. You see, I’ve got this circumstance as a paradox within my heart and I can’t seem to break past the spiritual to just appreciate the physical. Or maybe it’s the physical to the spiritual. The point is- what if this isn’t the point? What if there’s no absolute or one hundred percent? What if there’s no end to this life of suffering? What if we were meant to be born as withering away flesh only to have pain and torture as our reward for what you call original sin?
Mental health or mental Hell? There is no difference when you’re tied up in this jail. Come on down to my cell and I’ll give you a word of wisdom: Heaven is here. You know that neighborhood? The one that’s in poverty? You’ll find it there in the shithole places that you label as less than you. You’ll find it in the hearts of the people who have died with inequality because heaven is a place in the middle of hell. Our Hell is their heaven. Or maybe our Heaven is their Hell. Who could tell? Maybe I’ve lost my mind or maybe my mind has lost me. Whatever the case, let it be a testimony for the ones on the streets. I would rather be so loving that the religious reject me and so outspoken that I’m crucified before I ever conform to an inequality in immoral theology. For God so loved the world, not for God only loved you. You’re a part of the world and when your ego is only focused on yourself, you lose sight of what heaven is. Heaven is now. Heaven is here.
Maybe you’re too blind to see it. Maybe I’m too blind to see it. Maybe these shackles that have been tied on me have held me back from realizing that while I was feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and loving the imprisoned that it was you that I was there for. Heaven is what we create, and Hell is in the middle of it. If our table is as wide as the stretched arms of Jesus upon that cross then our inclusion builds heaven on earth, but if you weed out those unlike your cookie cutter formula- you’re creating Hell for yourself. A loving God is open for everyone, but we often don’t realize who everyone is. It’s not as complicated as you’re making it out to be. Maybe some day we can stand and realize that we’ve fought for equality. Maybe then we can truly have a party and celebrate the returning of the lost son: you.